


Day 111

by notjustmom



Series: A Lisp A Day... [111]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Episode: s02e01 A Scandal in Belgravia, F/F, Gen, M/M, the lisp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:57:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6664951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom





	Day 111

"Hello?"

"Ooh! Um, sorry to disturb you. Um, I’ve just been attacked, um, and, um, I think they - they took my wallet and, um, and my phone. Umm, please could you help me?"

"I can phone the police if you want."

"Thank you, thank you! Could you, please?"

"Oh, would you...would you mind if I just waited here, just until they come? Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Thank you...Er, ooh!"

"I – I saw it all happen. It’s okay, I’m a doctor."

"Now, have you got a first aid kit?"

"In the kitchen."

"Please, come in."

"Thank you."

 

"Hello. Sorry to hear that you’ve been hurt. I don’t think Kate caught your name."

"I’m so sorry. I’m..."

Oh. Damnnnnn. John. Wha-

"Oh, it’s always hard to remember an alias when you’ve had a fright, isn’t it?"

"There now – we’re both defrocked..."

Johnnnn....

"...Mr Sherlock Holmes."

"Ms. Adler, I pretthume."

"Look at those cheekbones. I could cut myself slapping that face. Would you like me to try?"

"Right, this should do it."

John...help?

"I’ve missed something, haven’t I?"

"Please, sit down."

"Oh, if you’d like some tea I can call the maid."

"I had some at the Palace."

"I know."

Of course you know.

"Clearly."

"I had a tea, too, at the Palace, if anyone’s interested."

Hmmm...nothing...I get absolutely zilch...???????

 

Two Day Shirt   
Electric not blade  
Wants to go out tonight  
Hasn’t phoned sister  
New toothbrush   
Night out with Stamford

 

Nope...still nothing...damn...???????

"D’you know the big problem with a disguise, Mr Holmes?"

"However hard you try, it’s always a self-portrait."

"You think I’m a vicar with a bleeding face?"

"No, I think you’re damaged, delusional and believe in a higher power. In your case, it’s yourself."

"Oh, and somebody loves you. Why, if I had to punch that face, I’d avoid your nose and teeth too."

"Could you put something on, please? Er, anything at all....a napkin?"

"Why? Are you feeling exposed?"

"I don't think John knows where to look..."

"No, I think he knows exactly where."

"I'm not so sure about you..."

"Well, never mind. We’ve got better things to talk about. Now tell me – I need to know."

???

"How was it done?"

"What?"

"The hiker with the bashed-in head. How was he killed?"

How...

"That's.not.why.I'm.here."

"No. no, no, you're here for the photographs, but that’s never gonna happen, and since we’re here just chatting anyway..."

"That story’s not been on the news yet. How do you know about it?"

"I know one of the policemen. Well, I know what he likes."

"Oh. And you like policemen?"

"I like detective stories – and detectives. Brainy’s the new sexy."

"Positionofthecar..."

Damn, what the fu- deep breath, try again -

"Er, the position of the car relative to the hiker at the time of the backfire. That and the fact that the death blow was to the back of the head. That’s all you need to know."

"Okay, tell me: how was he murdered?"

"He wasn't."

"You don't think it was murder?"

"I know it wasn't."

"How?"

"The same way that I know the victim was an excellent sportsman recently returned from foreign travel and that the photographs I’m looking for are in this room."

"Okay, but how?"

"So they are in this room. Thank you. John, man the door. Let no-one in."


End file.
